Tuesday - 8/18/2009 Heaven

People talk about heaven a great deal. Some believe heaven is somewhere above the clouds. Others believe it is right here on earth. There is also the discussions about what happens to you in heaven. Many of the beliefs we have are based on our religious practices or childhood teachings.

I've heard people talk about a waiting period or place where the dead go before they go to, actual heaven. I've often wondered what happens there. Is it similar to boot camp where you get your all mighty issued clothing? I picture angels with large pins in their mouths, measuring tapes in their hands gently calling out the persons measurements to ensure a proper fit. Because it's heaven I would expect the size chart to be somewhat altered or adjusted. Maybe like flight attendant's, the size chart has someone who would normally wear a 12 in an 8. Ah heaven.... So I imagine the sizing can go along fairly quickly until you get to the measuring of the wings... depending on the size you would have to worry about balance and of course how that may effect the ability to fly. My husband had a 54 inch shoulder span. A special order set of wings I'm sure. No off the rack for him. One friend of mine believes that the waiting period is to see if you get to stay or after evaluation of your life... you head south. I think you get the point.

So let's assume my beloved has made his way up to the Big House, no not the U of M stadium..heaven. OK there is an argument that U of M is heaven but no... they have to do their own blog. I picture him all spiffy in his wings, halo and his trademark messy hair. I suspect you get a few days to wander around, make yourself at home... reconnect with those you have lost. I know in my heart that my husband was greeted by his mom, dad and little brother. Many friends and relative who made the trip before him will welcome him with open arms. I know those angels said a special prayer for me and my children as soon as they saw him. I thank them in my prayers each night. There was probably one surprise meeting in heaven. My husband's grandfather was in his late 90s when my husband passed away. Being so old and a bit fragile it was decided that Grandpa would not be told about the passing of his grandson. Grandpa passed away shortly after my husband. I can just imagine as Grandpa arrived and saw my husband standing there with open arms... are you allowed to say hell in heaven? I'm sure there was a bit of confusion as to who got there first but...I'm sure it all worked out.

In my perception of heaven, all things and people are equal. People with illness are well, disabilities are none existent, those who arrive with a broken heart are healed and full of love, and they are loved back. Social or educational status mean nothing. If this is really what heaven is, I find great fun and comfort thinking about my husband playing baseball with the greats he grew up idolizing. His bad ankles and numerously broken fingers working perfectly as he pitches to the heroes of his childhood. I picture him chatting over dinner with JFK and Jackie O... asking what really happened on that November day in Dallas. Mostly I picture him talking and laughing with his dad. Having been only 6 when his father died, I know my husband would share all his successes and yes, even his perceived failures with him. He would talk so lovingly about his children and how proud he always was of both of them. My husband would share insight about his sisters and their families. My heaven has my husband's father taking my husband great big hands in his and telling my husband how he has watched and guided him for all these years and how very proud he has been to see the wonderful man his only son has become. My heart tells me he said one more thing in that moment. He would look into my husband's beautiful eyes and gently explain that now it is his job to watch and guide his wife to happiness and his children to joy, peace and love. My heaven has him doing all in his power to do exactly what his father asked him to do.

A few weeks ago there was another member of our family who went to heaven. I suspect there was no stop to get fitted for issued clothing for our dog, Max. Max was 11 years old and a very large breed dog. With age, hip and spine problems it became painfully obvious that I needed to make a decision. Max and I had been through so very much together. He was my buddy and at 155 lbs. was more like a person than a pet. Max missed his "dad" and seemed to be telling me that he wanted to join him. He took his death badly. I have had to make so many hard decision in the past 5 months. The decision to put Max down was horrible. What if I was wrong? What if this was a temporary thing? But after speaking with his vet and as silly as it sounds, speaking with Max, I made my decision. Max's hips were so bad he needed help to get up the 2 step in to the house, how was I going to lift him into the car...? We went outside. I looked at him and he looked at me with a glisten in his eye... I asked him to help me get him in the car. He hopped up, only needing help at the last minute. He sat down and before I closed the door... I asked him if he wanted go see dad, he winked at me and gave me a kiss. At the vet he hopped out of the car and walked in with me. He looked back once after they took him from me.... and I believe the next person he saw was my husband... tennis ball in hand, ready to play...

I hope so...